英语幽默小故事,35个词!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

一、英语幽默小故事,35个词!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?

Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,School-Go slow.

老师:为什么你每天早晨都迟到?

汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子上写着学校----慢行.

2. Wife talking to her husband(who reads new偿伐稗和织古半汰报咯spaper all day): I wish I were a newspaper so I'll be in your hands all day.

Husnband: I wish that too, so I could change you daily.

女人对她的丈夫(整天都在看报纸)说: 我好希望我是一张报纸,每天都能被你捧在手心.

丈夫:我想也是, 那样的话,我每天可以换一个老婆.

二、英语幽默故事带翻译.2分钟无人物对话

After reading an article entitled 'Cigarette Smoking and Your Health' I lit a cigarette to calm my nerves. I smoked with concentration and pleasure as I was sure that this would be my last cigarette. For a whole week I did not smoke at all and during this time, my wife suffered terribly. I had all the usual symptoms of someone giving up smoking: a bad temper and an enormous appetite. My friends kept on offering me cigarettes and cigars. They made no effort to hide their amusement whenever I produced a sweets from my pocket. After seven days of this I went to a party. Everybody around me was smoking and I felt extremely uncomfortable. When my old friend Brian urged me to accept a cigarette, it was more than I could bear.I took one guiltily, lit it and smoked with satisfaction. My wife was delighted that things had returned to normal once more. Anyway, as Brian pointed out, it is the easiest thing in the world to give up smoking. He himself has done it lots of times!

参考译文

读完一篇题为《吸烟与健康》的文章之后，我点上了一枝香烟，来镇定一下自己紧张的神经。我聚精会神而又愉快地吸着这枝烟。因为我确信这是我最后一枝烟了。整整一个星期我根本没有吸烟。在此期间，我妻子吃尽了苦头。我具备了戒烟者通常表现出来的所有症状：脾气暴躁和食欲旺盛。我的朋友们不断地向我递香烟和雪茄。每当我从口袋里掏出一包糖果时，他们都毫不掩饰地表现出他们对此感到非常好笑。这样过了7天以后，我去参加一次聚会。我周围的每个人都在吸烟，我感到非常不自在。当我的老朋友布赖恩极力劝我接受一枝香烟时，我再也忍不住了。我内疚地接过一枝点上，心满意足地抽起来。一切又都恢复了正常，为此我妻子十分高兴。不管怎么说，正如布赖恩指出的那样，戒烟是世界上最容易的事情，他自己就已戒了很多次了！

三、简单的幽默英语小故事带翻译

There is a Magic Fountain in the small mountain village, where there is an old legend, all the young men and women who drink Magic Fountain on New Year's Eve, will marry one of the most ugly in second years or marry one of the most ugly husband.

The village has three best friends, has not taken a wife, because his family was poor, they decided to take the plunge and even marry one of the ugliest wife, than to fight a lifetime bachelor strong.

So on New Year's Eve, the three friends meet came to Yuquan next, the first and second male youth are not hesitate to drink the spring water, the third have secretly put the springs spit.

The second year, drinking fountain of the two young men, married to a very ugly wife, and the springs spit out of the third man is married to the most beautiful girl in the village to do a wife. Two marry the ugly wife young men very puzzled and asked the luck of friends, friends and also very puzzled, he only knew he did not drink spring water, but do not know why they will have good luck.

Finally, on the wedding night, his wife told him the answer: really bad luck! It is not because I stole the water last year on the eve of the new year's eve!!

There is a Magic Fountain in the small mountain village, where there is an old legend, all the young men and women who drink Magic Fountain on New Year's Eve, will marry one of the most ugly in second years or marry one of the most ugly husband.

The village has three best friends, has not taken a wife, because his family was poor, they decided to take the plunge and even marry one of the ugliest wife, than to fight a lifetime bachelor strong.

So on New Year's Eve, the three friends meet came to Yuquan next, the first and second male youth are not hesitate to drink the spring water, the third have secretly put the springs spit.

The second year, drinking fountain of the two young men, married to a very ugly wife, and the springs spit out of the third man is married to the most beautiful girl in the village to do a wife. Two marry the ugly wife young men very puzzled and asked the luck of friends, friends and also very puzzled, he only knew he did not drink spring water, but do not know why they will have good luck.

Finally, on the wedding night, his wife told him the answer: really bad luck! It is not because I stole the water last year on the eve of the new year's eve!!

小山村里面有一个“魔泉”。这里有一个古老的传说，凡是在除夕之夜喝了“魔泉”的青年未婚男女，将在第二年娶一个最丑陋的妻子或嫁给一个最丑陋的丈夫。从来没有人敢试一下。

村里有三个最好的朋友，都还没有娶妻，因为家里太穷了，他们决定冒险一试，即使娶一个最丑的妻子，也比打一辈子光棍强。

于是在除夕夜，三个朋友相约来到“玉泉”旁，第一个和第二个男青年都毫不犹豫的喝下了泉水，第三个却偷偷地把泉水吐掉了。

第二年，喝下泉水的两个男青年各娶到了一个非常丑陋的妻子，而把泉水吐掉的第三个小伙子却娶到了全村最漂亮的姑娘做妻子。两个娶到丑陋妻子的男青年非常不解地问那个好运的朋友，朋友也十分不解，他只知道自己没喝泉水，却不知道自己为何会交上好运。

终于，在新婚之夜，妻子告诉了他答案：真倒霉！还不是因为我在去年除夕偷喝了那可恶的水！！

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